Hope

Hope.  I find hope very interesting.

You always want to have hope but the act of having hope can leave you quite vulnerable for disappointment.  We had hope when Emma was little that her CP would be mild.  We had hope that doing some alternative treatments while she was young (for example, HBOT) would prevent her from having to undergo surgeries for various side-effects from her CP.  We had hope that Emma would start talking after she received her cochlear implants.  We had hope that Emma would start sitting or walking or *you name it* because we have seen some of Emma's friends start to do just that.

Although quite a few things I hoped for did not pan out, I do still have significant hope - it's just a more guarded hope.  It's a more patient hope.  It's the type of hope that is open to answers to our prayers that is different than the way we imagined.

This morning we had time before Emma's bus came so I decided to put her in her wheelchair with Evie mounted on it.  We've had a bit of a routine where we will go outside for a walk with Finnegan about 10 minutes before her bus is scheduled to arrive and both Emma and Finnegan look forward to this morning outing.  I had been setting the talker on Emma's tray table while she sat in her ChildRite chair so Emma could request a morning activity - she usually chose the walk.  Lately she was refusing to use Evie in the morning (see this post) so today I decided to change our approach.  I put Emma in her wheelchair with Evie mounted to the chair and left the room for a moment.  While I was gone, Emma said Go a couple of times and was all smiles when I came back and told her I heard her ask to go.  She didn't say walk or outside, but I was happy she asked to "go" so quickly and without any prompting.  And she was so proud of herself - it was written all over her face!

Monday was Emma's first day back to school after a week off.  She has speech therapy on Monday and Wednesday and the session on Monday typically occurs in the classroom and Wednesday is typically a pull out for 1 on 1 work.  The classroom sessions are generally less productive than the pull out because Emma is a pro at ignoring Evie and her therapists when her peers are around.  This week was different, tough.  Her SLP reported that Emma picked a princess magnet game activity to play, paid attention to the game and said multiple {activity appropriate} words spontaneously without prompting!  The words were Go, Frog, Stop, Play and a few others that I don't remember right now.  This is unprecedented expressive communication from Emma!

Expressive, self-initiated communication from Emma.  What Emma chooses to say is appropriate and she uses words in proper context.  It's sporadic but it is deliberate.  It's different than what I had imagined - but it is happening.  And it is OH SO SWEET!

Hope continues to live inside me.