This and that

I saw a mantra on Facebook and it made me laugh.  I think I'll make a print and post it on my bedroom mirror because we all need a reminder once in a while....

Things are getting better around here.  It's not the same without Finnegan and Julia is still carrying her photo around with her and has us all kiss the photo of Finnegan before she goes to bed and she is still making up Finney songs but we are thinking of all the fun we had with Finney instead of how sad we are that she isn't here.

I even took a look at a Lab Rescue website and looked at the labs up for adoption.  There are some dogs that sound wonderful and I'm sure a great family will come along and adopt them.  We aren't ready yet to add another dog to our family - I would just expect the dog to behave and act like Finney and I don't think another dog in the universe is wired like she was ;-)  

I also looked closer at the application for a companion dog for Emma.  It takes 3-6 months to complete the application process and another 6-18 months to have a dog placed in our home.  That would put Emma at 7 years old and sounds like a good age to us so we will likely think about beginning the process of applying soon.  I spoke with the group at the Abilites Expo the last couple of years and it seems like they are a good fit for us because of their philosophy and location.  And the cost, too, because some companion and service dogs are way out of our price range.  I think a companion dog that can do up to 40 tasks will be a big benefit to Emma for both her independence and her social life.  Just the thought of Emma having her own service dog gets me excited!  

Good Memories

Each morning I wake up and the first thought that pops into my head - before I'm even aware I'm awake - is that Finnegan is not downstairs waiting for me and a fresh wave of sadness washes over me.  

Each time I leave the house and then arrive back home my stomach does a little excited flip when I'm opening the door waiting for Finney to greet me until I realize that she isn't there.  

We don't need to take her for a walk, get the fun of giving her treats, have to make sure she has plenty of fresh water and that the couch cushions are uncluttered so she can make herself comfortable there.  

Day by day time moves on and it is getting a little easier.  I'm re-learning how to live in a house without a dog and I don't like it very much.  I still talk to her as if she is here and pretend she is in another room. I look at her photo a lot and it makes me smile.  We had a nice sunny day yesterday and I was sad that she wasn't here for me to take for a long walk - she would have loved the long walk that came along with sunny winter days.  

We have some home video of her chasing her beloved ball when she was a baby.  We watch it frequently and laugh - Julia especially loves the video.  It's nice to remember her energetic puppy days.  

I went through photos from the last few years to find Finnegan photos.  It's amazing just how much she was woven into the fabric of our family.  It reminded me of all the fun memories we made with her.

• We took her to others' houses, for walks on Main Street, to the park, on errands, car trips to drop off or pick up the girls from school, on vacations.  
• She chased balls, chewed toys, was front and center for many of Emma's at home therapy sessions.  
• She would always lay on top of the many blankets Julia coated the floor with for her baby dolls.  When Julia realized Finney wasn't going to move off the blankets she gave in and covered her up like she did her baby dolls.  Julia also liked to pretend Finney was her customer at her beauty salon and Finn was more than happy to humor her as Julia combed her hair, painted her nails, dressed her up and "blew dried" her hair.
• She hated when the smoke alarm went off, didn't mind flies outside but if they were in the house she often hid upstairs from them!, changed rooms whenever the vacuum was in use, barked indignantly if we went on a walk to the store without her, and did not like Schnauzer dogs.  
• She had lots of quirks with the most notable being not liking to walk on various indoor surfaces - wood laminate being her most avoided flooring.  
• Until recently she jumped in our bed each morning, happy to be up snuggling with us while we enjoyed the extra sleep it gave us.  The last few months she stopped going up the stairs, preferring to sleep the night away on the couches.  

I've felt Finnegan around me recently.  Little things - like a tennis ball rolling under my car - feel like a direct message from her to me that she is happy in heaven.  As Chris said, she will never have another "incomplete fetch" to drive her crazy.  Of course, he also said the tennis ball is from the next door neighbor's dog!  It probably is, but it never landed on our side before so I think it's Finn at work.  

The good memories are comforting.  They are helping us all move on while still honoring her memory.  

Finnegan

Firecracker FINNEGAN Sheedy

July 4, 2002 - February 21, 2013

We called you 

Finnegan

Finney

Finn

Finster

Finney Ginney

Finnegar

Finners

Finnegan-egan-egan

But mostly we called you family.

Thanks for the best 10.5 years.  We wish it could have been more.

You brought more joy into our world than I ever thought possible.

We will never forget you.

"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened. "

(Anatole France) 

My heart is broken today.